The first step of B.E.T.T.E.R. isn’t changing anything. It’s telling yourself the truth.
There is something uncomfortable about taking an honest look at yourself.
Not the version of yourself you have in your head.
Not the man you were five years ago.
Not the man you intend to become.
The man you are right now.
That is where the B.E.T.T.E.R. framework begins.
B — Baseline.
Be honest about where you are.
I knew when I developed this framework that Baseline needed to come first. What I didn’t expect was how quickly it would force me to confront something in my own life.
I wasn’t doing enough physically.
And if I’m being completely truthful, I hadn’t been for a while.
I had become stagnant.
Life gets busy. Work demands attention. Family needs you. There is always another responsibility, another problem, another reason why something can wait until tomorrow.
And somewhere along the way, physical activity had become one of those things for me.
I knew it.
I could feel it.
And it was beginning to show.
The Baseline forced me to stop explaining it and simply acknowledge it.
I need to take better care of my physical health.
That became my starting point.
Not a resolution.
Not a twelve-month transformation plan.
Not some unrealistic promise about what I’m going to look like six months from now.
Just the truth.
And then one decision:
Do something about it.
The Man in Your Head vs. The Man in the Mirror
I think a lot of us carry around an outdated picture of ourselves.
We remember what we used to be able to do.
How much we used to work out.
How disciplined we used to be.
How involved we used to be with our families.
How focused we once were.
How strong a relationship once felt.
Or maybe we focus on what we’re going to do.
I’ll start working out again.
I’ll spend more time with my kids.
I’ll get my finances under control.
I’ll work on my marriage.
I’ll finally start that project.
I’ll make the change when things calm down.
The problem is that neither the past nor the future tells you where you are today.
Your Baseline does.
And you can’t chart a course from a starting point that doesn’t exist.
If you’ve ever opened a map on your phone, the first thing it needs to know isn’t where you want to go.
It needs to know:
Where are you?
Personal growth isn’t much different.
Before you start worrying about the destination, you need an honest location.
Baseline Isn’t Judgment
This part matters.
Establishing your Baseline isn’t an opportunity to beat yourself up.
I could look at my physical condition and spend time criticizing myself for allowing things to get stagnant.
What does that accomplish?
Nothing.
The point isn’t:
“Look how far I’ve fallen.”
The point is:
“This is where I am. Now what am I going to do about it?”
There is a big difference.
One keeps you looking backward.
The other gives you a direction forward.
That’s why Baseline requires honesty without judgment.
Maybe you’re not where you want to be physically.
Maybe your marriage hasn’t been getting the attention it deserves.
Maybe you’re constantly distracted when you’re with your children.
Maybe your finances aren’t where they should be.
Maybe you’re succeeding professionally while quietly realizing that something else in your life is suffering because of it.
Maybe you’ve stopped challenging yourself.
Whatever it is, you don’t have to defend it.
You don’t have to make excuses for it.
You also don’t have to hate yourself for it.
You simply have to be willing to say:
This is where I am.
That sentence can be powerful.
Because now you have somewhere to start.
My Baseline Started at 4:00 A.M.
Once I identified physical health as an area that needed my attention, I had a choice.
I could acknowledge it and move on.
Or I could act.
So I decided to start getting up at 4:00 in the morning.
The first morning, I got in an hour of weightlifting followed by 30 minutes of boxing.
It felt good.
But one workout wasn’t really the point.
The harder part came the next morning.
And the morning after that.
Because I’m still getting up.
I’m still working out.
I’m still trying to get the work in before the sun comes up.
That’s where I’m beginning to see the difference between identifying a Baseline and simply recognizing a problem.
A Baseline should create movement.
I’m not claiming some dramatic physical transformation after a few early mornings.
That’s not what this is.
I’m simply doing something today that the man I want to become tomorrow will benefit from.
And right now, that means getting out of bed when the alarm goes off.
It means lifting the weight.
It means putting on the gloves.
It means moving when staying comfortable would be easier.
It means rebuilding something I allowed to become stagnant.
One morning at a time.
Don’t Try to Fix Everything
This may be one of the most important lessons from Baseline.
When you honestly evaluate your life, you’ll probably find more than one thing you’d like to improve.
I did.
That’s dangerous because our instinct is often to attack everything at once.
New workout routine.
New diet.
New morning routine.
More reading.
Less phone.
Better finances.
More family time.
More sleep.
More productivity.
By Thursday, you’re exhausted.
By the following Monday, you’re back where you started.
B.E.T.T.E.R. isn’t about rebuilding your entire life in seven days.
Baseline asks you to identify where you are.
Then pick somewhere to begin.
For me, right now, that’s physical health.
Your answer may be completely different.
And that’s the point.
Establish Your Baseline
Take ten or fifteen minutes today.
No phone.
No television.
No distractions.
Grab a notebook and write these five areas down:
- Physical
- Mental
- Relational
- Professional
- Spiritual
Then ask yourself one question for each:
Where am I, really?
Not where should I be.
Not where do other people think I am.
Not where was I three years ago.
Not where am I planning to be six months from now.
Where am I today?
Write it down.
Then look at what you’ve written and ask:
Which one of these needs my attention right now?
Pick one.
You don’t need a 30-day challenge.
You don’t need a new identity.
You don’t need to announce some massive goal.
Just decide what the next action looks like.
Then do it.
Your Baseline Will Move
There is another reason I like the idea of a Baseline.
It isn’t permanent.
My current physical Baseline is exactly that:
current.
If I continue getting up, continue training, continue boxing and continue making physical activity part of my life again, eventually where I am today won’t be my Baseline anymore.
I’ll have moved it.
Then I’ll have to look again.
Where am I now?
What’s working?
What still needs attention?
Where have I improved?
Where am I getting comfortable again?
Growth doesn’t eliminate the need for honesty.
It demands more of it.
Because “Be Better” doesn’t have a finish line.
This Week, Start Where You Are
I’m still early in this.
The alarm is still going off at 4:00 A.M.
Some mornings I would rather stay in bed.
But I’m getting up.
Not because waking up at 4:00 A.M. somehow makes someone better than the man who wakes up at 6:00.
It doesn’t.
4:00 A.M. isn’t the standard.
Honesty is.
For my life, my schedule, and the Baseline I identified, getting up before the sun gives me the opportunity to do something I know I’ve been neglecting.
That’s my action.
Yours doesn’t have to look anything like mine.
Maybe yours is a twenty-minute walk.
Maybe it’s putting your phone away when you walk through the door.
Maybe it’s sitting down with your spouse and having a conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Maybe it’s opening the bank statement.
Maybe it’s finally making the appointment.
Maybe it’s spending thirty uninterrupted minutes with your child.
The action will be different.
The first step is the same.
Tell yourself the truth.
Because you cannot become better from where you pretend to be.
You can only become better from where you actually are.
So find your Baseline.
Pick one thing.
Take one step.
Then tomorrow, take another.
I’m doing the same.
No perfection.
No comparison.
Just direction.
This post is the first stop in the B.E.T.T.E.R. framework series. If you haven’t read the full breakdown yet, start here: The Framework: A Better Way to Become Better.
Be Better.
Same Standard. A Stronger You.
Earn Your Legacy.
Walk the Unfinished Quest.