Two steps into the B.E.T.T.E.R. Process: Baseline + Eliminate

Traveler,

First, I owe you something.

Notes From the Path didn’t go out last week.

I could give you a long explanation. Work, family, responsibilities, commitments—life got busy.

And all of those things are true.

But there is also something almost fitting about missing a newsletter while we’re talking about the first two steps of the B.E.T.T.E.R. Process.

Because sometimes you have to stop and admit:

This is where I am.

And then ask:

What needs to change?

That’s Baseline.

And Eliminate.

So rather than pretending we didn’t miss a week, we’re going to use it.

Because this Quest has never been about pretending we have everything figured out.

It’s about becoming better.

And sometimes becoming better starts by telling yourself the truth.

B — Baseline

Be honest about where you are.

You can’t navigate from a location you’re pretending to be at.

If you open a map and tell it you’re ten miles farther down the road than you actually are, every direction it gives you will be wrong.

Life isn’t much different.

Before you can become better, you have to establish the truth about where you’re starting.

Not where you thought you’d be by now.

Not where other people think you are.

Not where you’ll be once work slows down, the kids get older, you make more money, or life becomes easier.

Where are you today?

How is your marriage?

How present are you with your children?

How is your health?

Your finances?

Your faith?

Your leadership?

Your discipline?

Your attitude?

How are you actually using your time?

Those questions aren’t meant to beat you down.

They’re meant to give you coordinates.

Because, as I wrote when introducing the B.E.T.T.E.R. Process:

You can’t chart a better course from an imaginary starting point.

There is tremendous freedom in being able to look at something and simply say:

This is where I am.

No excuses.

No pretending.

No self-condemnation.

Just truth.

Because once you know where you are, you can finally decide where to go next.

But that’s where another problem usually begins.

E — Eliminate

Remove what holds you back.

When most of us decide we want to improve something, our first instinct is addition.

We need another routine.

Another app.

Another book.

Another commitment.

Another goal.

Another productivity system.

We keep piling things onto an already overloaded life and wonder why we still aren’t moving.

Maybe the answer isn’t more.

Maybe the answer is less.

Sometimes the fastest way forward isn’t adding something.

It’s removing something.

The hour disappearing into your phone every night.

The commitment you keep saying yes to even though you know you should have stopped years ago.

The money you’re spending trying to maintain an image.

The constant comparison with someone else’s life.

The habit you keep rationalizing.

The relationship that repeatedly pulls you away from the man you’re trying to become.

The excuse you’ve repeated so many times that somewhere along the way you started believing it.

That’s why the second question in the B.E.T.T.E.R. Process isn’t:

What else should I do?

It’s:

What needs to go?

That’s a harder question.

Because adding something often feels productive.

Eliminating something requires a decision.

It may require saying no.

Walking away.

Turning something off.

Changing a habit.

Creating a boundary.

Admitting that something you enjoy isn’t helping you become the man you say you want to become.

And sometimes it means acknowledging that you already know what’s holding you back.

You just haven’t been willing to remove it.

The Connection Between the Two

This is why I put these steps next to each other.

Baseline tells you the truth.

Eliminate asks what you’re going to do about it.

Maybe your Baseline tells you that you’re exhausted every morning.

Before building a complicated morning routine, maybe Eliminate says:

Put the phone down and go to bed earlier.

Maybe your Baseline tells you that you aren’t as present with your family as you want to be.

Before scheduling another family activity, maybe Eliminate says:

Stop bringing the phone to the dinner table.

Maybe your Baseline tells you that your finances aren’t where they should be.

Before looking for another income stream, maybe Eliminate says:

Stop spending money on things you don’t need to impress people who don’t matter.

Maybe your Baseline tells you that you’ve been talking about the same goal for six months without moving.

Before buying another book or watching another motivational video, maybe Eliminate says:

Stop making the excuse.

Sometimes the gap between where you are and where you want to be isn’t filled by adding something new.

Sometimes you close the gap by removing what keeps pulling you backward.

You Don’t Have to Fix Everything

This matters.

When you establish an honest Baseline, you’re probably going to see more than one problem.

Good.

That means you’re paying attention.

But don’t make the mistake of trying to rebuild your entire life this weekend.

Pick one thing.

Your health.

Your marriage.

Your relationship with your kids.

Your finances.

Your faith.

Your discipline.

Your leadership.

Your time.

Whatever has been bothering you when things get quiet.

Pick one.

The framework itself is built around that idea: you don’t need to fix everything at once; identify one area and ask what “better” would actually look like there.

Then establish your Baseline.

Where am I really?

And once you’ve answered that honestly, ask:

What is getting in the way?

Now you’re ready to eliminate.

The Traveler’s Challenge

Give yourself ten quiet minutes this weekend.

No phone.

No television.

No podcast playing in the background.

Just you and a piece of paper.

Write this at the top:

WHERE DO I KNOW I NEED TO BE BETTER?

Choose one area.

Then write two things underneath it:

BASELINE:

Where am I really?

ELIMINATE:

What is getting in the way?

Don’t write ten things.

Find one.

One distraction.

One habit.

One excuse.

One unnecessary commitment.

One thing taking your time, energy, attention, or money away from something that matters more.

Then finish this sentence:

FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS, I WILL ELIMINATE __________.

That’s it.

You don’t have to transform your entire life this weekend.

You just need to create a little room for something better.

From the Path

Missing last week’s newsletter bothered me.

But maybe there’s a lesson in that too.

The Quest isn’t about maintaining some image that everything always goes according to plan.

Sometimes work gets heavy.

Sometimes family needs you.

Sometimes responsibilities pile up.

Sometimes you miss something.

The question isn’t whether you’ll ever get off course.

You will.

The question is what you do when you notice.

You establish the Baseline.

You eliminate what needs to go.

And then you keep walking.

Next week, we’ll move into the first T in the B.E.T.T.E.R. Process:

THINK LONGER

Because some decisions feel good for ten minutes and cost us ten years.

And some decisions are difficult for ten minutes and improve the next ten.

We’ll talk about how to tell the difference.

Until then:

Tell yourself the truth.

Remove what holds you back.

And make one decision today that moves you closer to the man you’re trying to become.

The Quest isn’t finished.

Neither are you.

Be Better.

Earn Your Legacy.
— Gavin
Unfinished Quest
For Men Still Becoming

Continue the Journey

If this reflection encouraged you, share it with another man who needs to be reminded that he wasn’t meant to walk this alone.

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Be Better. Earn Your Legacy.